Mommy crashes

Wow, was Blogger really down?

I’ve been in a tailspin for the last couple of weeks, and I’m not sure I know you well enough to share it with you! It may be because it’s January. I don’t like to complain about New England weather because I agree with my friend who thinks that it’s unbecoming to complain about the weather. Also, I didn’t grow up in New England, and I feel that I chose to live here, and therefore should not complain. But last January I “ran away” overnight, and this year I was ready to leave again. It started with a busy, week, compounded by my husband going to two firefighter funerals. Neither was close by, but I dislike being reminded that firefighters die, and it makes me a little crazy that he uses precious vacation days for an optional activity that doesn’t include his family at all. Then my mother called to tell me that she’s taking my brother and his family to England to see my aunt and uncle. My uncle has some heart conditions, so I’m getting the sense that she want to see him just in case. My family and I are not invited. And the thing is, she could have saved being hurtful just by asking us. What’s the chance we’d fly our family of five to England in March? After that I had a really bad day. I was ready to leave home without my kids, make a new start somewhere warm. Or maybe just move out and persuade my husband to hire me back as the Nanny – I’d get paid, and every evening I’d be able to go back to my own space. My husband got it, kind of, and shooed me out of the house to have dessert and coffee with a friend which somehow helped to restore some perspective.

Today I’m recovering from a stomach bug I had on Sunday night. It was just for a few hours, but it was intense. I’m still feeling a little shaky. But I had a Mommy payday this morning – my five-year-old wrote me a note:

To Mom
I Like all the things you do for me Love Parker

He said it was a get well note. I cried and told him it was wonderful.